Feels good to be heard

Feels good to be heard 

Have you ever felt that if you don’t get something off your chest you’ll explode? 

Whether you’re a manager, supervisor or perhaps an employee with no managerial responsibility, the ability to listen is one of the most important and valued there is.  

Undertake any basic communications or wellbeing-based course and active listening will be a core skill to learn and demonstrate. It’s the key to being a great empath, ally and friend.  

There are so many reasons why listening is vital both in and out of the workplace. It builds trust, reduces misunderstandings, encourages empathy and decreases the potential for conflict to arise. It also improves both business and personal relationships and enhances leadership skills.   

If you’ve always thought that good leaders are people who express themselves well, that’s only half of the picture. They’re also great listeners. 

A recent article by The Important Site states: “If you’re wanting to become a better leader, you should first become a better listener. Active listening helps you make connections between your team’s ideas, hear different perspectives, and prevent misunderstandings. A good team leader ensures everyone feels respected, which means they all feel heard.”  

Show that you care 

The workplace can be chaotic and it’s difficult to be fully present and give another person your focus when your attention is divided between a variety of competing priorities. It’s therefore key to make it clear that you are listening and giving someone your full attention.  

We’ve all been there; trying to have an important conversation with a person that is either looking at their phone, typing on their laptop or just generally distracted. It can make you feel like you don’t matter, you’re taking up someone’s time or you’re moaning.  

To be the best manager or colleague possible, you must strive to show you care. Remove as many distractions as possible and fully engage with the other person so that they know they are being taken seriously. It could mean the world to them and help them to move forward with whatever is causing them distress.  

Listening enhances performance at work  

If your job involves interacting with others, you will know how vital good communication is. Misunderstandings can derail projects, cause conflict and can damage business’ reputations. If we commit to listening better, we can all build strong relationships with colleagues, managers and clients.  

Listening is very important to your success regardless of your role, level or position. The Important Site continues: “People who are good listeners are more likely to retain information, understand what’s being required of them, and ask the right questions which is a valuable skill in group projects and meetings. Many people think they need to talk a lot to contribute, but listening is arguably more important. If everyone listens to each other, there are fewer misunderstandings. This saves everyone’s time.” 

Listen to understand, not respond 

An article in The Enterprisers Project last year claimed: “In our normal daily interactions, most of us are just waiting for our turn to talk – angling for an open space in the conversation where we can steer the discussion where we want it to go. But when we do this, we devalue what the other person is saying. We aren’t truly hearing them. How can you help someone with their problem if you don’t understand what their problem is?” 

The solution? Breaking the habit of formulating a response while the other person is speaking. When we’re trying to think of a retort, we are not fully channelling our efforts into listening.   

A difficulty with modern communication is that too often we feel the need to come up with a great reply when someone is speaking with us. We feel that our reputation is on the line or that we’ll lose both face and peoples’ trust if we don’t say the right thing.  

The truth is that sometimes all the other person needs from us is to listen, understand and empathise. Speaking out and offloading and knowing that somebody has heard us can make the world of difference, and there is no harm in mulling something over and getting back with a response in time.  

Engage 

As well as removing distractions and fully listening to one another, it’s important to be conscious of your levels of engagement too.  

Though challenging for some, maintaining eye contact is a great way to build trust and show that you care. Similarly, displaying open, relaxed body language or subtly mirroring that of the other person can also put them at ease. If you appear closed off or place a barrier between you such as a folded arm it can be off-putting and discouraging.  

Another key engagement skill to demonstrate is that of paraphrasing. This means repeating back what somebody has said to you for clarity and confirmation that you have both heard and understood properly. When we paraphrase we validate what someone is saying leading them to hopefully feel comfortable in sharing more. 

Asking relevant and open questions will also display interest and invite further comment. These may include: 

“Why do you think that?” 

“Can you expand on that?” 

“How can I help?” 

Thoughtful questions will show the other person that you are engaged in the discussion and open to hearing what they have to say. 

Don’t judge 

It should go without saying that the best way to encourage people to open up is to remain non-judgemental and fair.  

Just because we may not think or behave in the same way that another does, it does not mean that they or we are wrong. It is our job as the listener to leave pre-conceived ideas at the door and view people’s difficulties from their perspective and not our own.  

Our backgrounds, cultures and experiences have shaped who we are today and no two people will have the same journey. When we let our pasts impact the way in which we interpret new information, we begin to act with bias, prejudice and a lack of equality for all.  

The best thing for us to do is listen without interruption, understand different perspectives and collaborate to create the best outcomes possible.  

END 

References 

https://theimportantsite.com/10-reasons-why-listening-is-important/  

https://enterprisersproject.com/article/2021/11/how-active-listening-can-make-you-better-leader